The second edition of "What's My Color?" is almost ready to publish. I've been working hard trying to figure out KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing). Lots of frustration and head scratching to learn the ins and outs of self publishing. Different formats for different styles...ebooks, paperback. Ugh! I have never been so far out of my comfort zone as I have been these last few months. The plan is to have the second edition launched before 2021!! Keep checking back for more details. If you're interested in accessing the new version head on over to my contact page and send me a message.
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Over the last few weeks I have made a decision to pull out from my current publishers. They have done nothing to promote my children's book since its publishing date in 2011. It was even discovered that the e-reader version doesn't even display properly. I had no idea of this until a writer friend went to check it out and saw the blatant problem.
With that knowledge, I am now setting out on my own. Over the next few weeks I am reformatting my book and will set it up the way it should look. Next will come a bit of market research before I launch my book. After that has been accomplished I will republish it through Kindle Publishing and Ingramspark. I will be asking my readers for some help with reviews once it is available. This is a step I did not have guidance with last time around. Reviews help drive up sales....something I was not aware of. Who knew? So, this is some of the light, keeping me sane during these tough times. I will keep you posted on the progress. This year has definitely been a time where we've seen drastic changes. We've gone from 15 days in March to flatten the curve, to mask wearing, Covid testing, to a threat of another lockdown. Many other countries have already started this process. Even though there is scientific evidence that people who contract the virus have a 99% survival rate. Cures are being suppressed while the vaccine is being pushed and in some cases, mandated. The voices of the people are not being heard and knowledgable doctors and scientists are being censored. We are living in a George Orwell universe. The twilight zone I referred to back in the spring has become our reality. Yet, there are many people that still don't see what is happening behind the scenes....right in front of our eyes. Our governments have strategically removed our freedoms and implemented restrictions. A plan to build Covid camps has been discovered by Randy Hillier, Independent Ontario MPP for Lanark, Frontenac & Kingston. "He expressed concern over the “Federal Quarantine/Isolation sites” in the provincial question period late this week. He asked the Doug Ford government of Ontario if they knew of “how many of these camps will be built, and how many people does this government expect to detain.” He pointed out how documentation shows that the “Federal Quarantine/Isolation sites” could be used for “other requirements” besides for COVID-19. " (Lifesitenews.com) It feels like we've stepped back in time to WWII and the concentration camps are now in North America. This is scary. The government of Canada had a request for tenders to build these camps on their website and now it has mysteriously disappeared. I saw this actual page on the site with my own eyes and just today I noticed it was pulled down. Our government is playing deceptive games, yet not all Canadian people can see it. These restrictions and lockdowns have affected the world's health in so many ways. While focusing on a "virus" people are dying from a multitude of other illnesses because they can't get quick access to hospital beds or doctors. The suicide rate has increased incredibly. People are overwhelmed and isolated. Our old people are stuck in homes, isolated from their families, some have even tried to escape. It is sad to hear an old person say that they'd rather die than be forced into isolation again. All our main stream media, premiers, health ministers and prime minister do is focus on CASES, CASES, CASES. The death rate is what needs to be reported and even that is extremely low in comparison to other deaths. We flattened the curve back in March. Why are all these restrictions still being enforced, if not for another agenda? Where will this George Orwellian train take us to in the following weeks? Months? One can only surmise. I pray that there is light at the end of this dark futuristic tunnel. Never in a million years would I ever have believed these last two months would have actually occurred. I still feel like I am walking in the Twilight Zone!! Would somebody please pinch me, shake me....wake me up from this strange dream! Like everyone else, in North America, I am sure, I followed the Coronavirus crisis unfolding in China during the Christmas break with little regard to the seriousness that was about to unfold. By March 8, it had washed upon the shores of Canada and seeped into Alberta. We had 3 confirmed cases in Alberta. No a big deal, right? A week later, on March 15, the Government of Alberta had announced that the virus was beginning to spread within our province (59 cases) and called for the immediate suspension of school classes , including universities and colleges. What? We were all in shock, not knowing what that meant. Would the students be done school for the rest of the year? How would that look for our high school students? Do the teachers still go to school? Will we be expected to deliver courses from home? When will we be able to resume classes again? So many unanswered questions and a feeling of doom! Staff at all the educational institutions waited with baited breath and mounting anxiety as we continued to head into work daily, not knowing anything. We were directed to clean out student's desks, lockers and get their materials ready for pick up by the end of the week. It seemed like that week would never end. It was like walking down a darkened tunnel, covered with rubber gloves and the smell of disinfectant lingering in the air. We were missing our classrooms full of faces and the sounds of children. We were not even give a chance to say good bye. It felt so cold, so brutal, so unfinished. We ended that week, still unsure of what the rest of our school year would look like and uneasy about how this virus was going to affect our families, social life, work life. Such a dreadful, ominous feeling. By the following week, the Alberta cases of COVID-19 had increased to 259 cases. People were beginning to panic, buying stupendous amounts of toilet paper, yeast, flour and sugar. Walking in Walmart was an eerie experience. No one was talking, you couldn't even hear children crying (even though they were there), shelves were empty, everyone was taking large swaths to get around you. I felt like a bomb was about to drop from the skies. People, it seemed, were preparing for the end of the world and buying out everything they possibly could. Premier Jason Kenney declared a provincial health state of emergency on March 17 and the number of people allowed to gather in one area was 50. Our new normal was talking about the crisis and waiting until 4:30 to hear the daily updates from the chief medical officer, Deena Henshaw. More doom and gloom! Teachers were finally given direction. We were to continue delivering our content, now online. We had restrictions on how many hours a week we were allowed to deliver per subject (e.g. grade 1-6 were to focus on LA and Math and only 30 mins/day on each; high school 3 hrs/wk/core subject). Now we had even more questions. What about those students who didn't have computers or even Internet? How would we get materials and assignments back and forth to students using paper based methods? How about our families that depended on our hot breakfast program? How were we supposed to deliver this content online? How were parents supposed to help their children? My grade 3/4 students had never even used online learning before, now I was to figure out how to teach them how to do this, remotely, AND get them to figure out learning at home. From the confines of our classrooms, we attended staff meetings via Google Meet, keeping that social distancing measure in place. We also figured out how to deliver classes to our students through Google Meet. By the following week, the public education system was dealt the most defeating blow yet. Jason Kenney decided to lay off 26,000 education workers around the province. What? How was that even possible? It is said to be the "biggest mass layoff in Alberta's history" AND during a pandemic! Unthinkable. More unemployed people to add to the long lines of unemployed. Confirmed cases had now more than doubled, Alberta was at about 661 cases by March 29. Curiously enough, the death rates were not being noted as much, Alberta had only 8 deaths by then and many beginning to recover. Where was this in the news? This is important information that the public should be privy to just as much as the amount of confirmed cases. Nothing like putting more fear into the public. Fear leads to conformity. As our lives moved into the month of April the cases in Alberta continued to rise, by April 6th we had 1348 confirmed cases, 24 deaths and 361 recovered. Canada's borders were now closed to non- Canadian travelers. No one was leaving or coming in, unless you were a citizen trying to return. You were expected to self isolate for 14 days before going out into the public. By Easter break, I was completely exhausted, both mentally and physically. I was never so glad to see an Easter holiday than I was this year. I spent all break, in a daze, not wanting to go outside of my yard. I did not want to be around the unsettling atmosphere of a supermarket. The supermarkets now had space restrictions; one way directions down the isles, spots (6 feet apart) marked on the floors at the line ups for the checkout. People wearing masks over their mouths and rubber gloves on their hands. Shelves still as empty as they had been almost a month prior but now there were purchasing limits on many of the items, especially toilet paper. Did I mention, it felt like the Twilight Zone? That's how it felt when the first mention of the suspension of school classes occurred, I still feel the same way today. It's like a nightmare that won't end. As of April 25, Alberta's confirmed cases stood at 4233, 73 deaths and 1471 recovered. We are not sure when this will end. Saskatchewan and British Columbia are now talking about lifting some of the restrictions, they may be opening some schools and businesses. Hopefully, we will see some of these lift in Alberta soon. We must be flattening the curve somewhat. Sitting here today, completing my taxes (lucky me) I am grateful that we have technology to keep us connected. I mean, I just Face-timed my mother for the first time a few weeks ago and I can "hang out" with my students in a Google Meet. I was even able to send my sister a virtual birthday card and her receive it ... on time. I even participated in a virtual 10k race, although it did not feel the same competing against runners that I could not see. It is not easy for families to be isolated with nowhere to go. Remember to be kind and to keep in touch with your friends, neighbors. Make sure they are okay. We will get through this pandemic stronger than we were before and we will do this by staying connected. We will not let this virus defeat us, as child psychologist Jody Carrington would say, "Not today, Corrrrrrona!" The verdict is in and it is forgiveness. All signs are pointing towards forgiveness. Lately, I have felt my life, or rather my journey to a more fulfilled life, has hit some kind of blockage. I have experienced a lot of emotional trauma over the years and have tried to find ways to successfully dig a way back to myself and on towards progress. Everywhere I turn, right now, there are notes, videos, reminders of a path I keep resisting. Today, once again, I discover myself in the woods needing to choose which path to travel. A wonderful colleague, Dr. Jody Carrington, guided me towards considering a choice that keeps relentlessly presenting itself. Although I was a week behind in watching her Facebook Live video, her topic was one on forgiveness. A topic I keep avoiding, while I clutch desperately to the resentments in my life. Is this why I am stalled? Why I don’t move forward? Wow! Forgiveness seems like such an easy thing to do but, unfortunately, I think it is the easiest to avoid. Forgiveness, they say, is more about you than the person you’re directing it to. If you can’t forgive then you will stay stuck. I don’t want to stay stuck. There are a few things that help me sort through this process of “forgiveness”. Forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook. The offenders still need to be held accountable for their actions or lack of actions. Forgiveness is not letting the offense recur again and again. We don’t have to keep ourselves open to tolerate lack of respect or abuse of any kind. Forgiveness is not based on others actions but rather our attitude. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Forgiveness is a process, not an event. Well, thank God for that! It is a process, not an event. Now I know that I can and need to allow myself some time to work through this maze of forgiveness. Louise Hay made a valid point on forgiving yourself and others. She said, “You can never be free of bitterness as long as you continue to think unforgiving thoughts. How can you be happy in this moment if you continue to choose to be angry and resentful? Thoughts of bitterness can’t create joy. No matter how justified you feel you are, no matter what “they” did, if you insist on holding on to the past, then you will never be free. Forgiving yourself and others will release you from the prison of the past.” Kate Maree O’Brien said that to begin to forgive we must learn to “understand”. “We need to stop and look through the eyes of that person and see how they are seeing the world. How did they see the world, at that time, for them to have that viewpoint that they had, for them to do the actions they did, for them to be the way they showed up in that moment? If we can understand that they are doing the best with what they have, we can make change in this world.” So, it looks like I have chosen the path less traveled. I suspect my journey to be long but I am willing to change and by that I choose to change my thoughts. I will choose to work on releasing my resentments, so I can open up more room to love. I will make slow steps towards looking from my offender’s viewpoint, so I can rid my mind of resentments and hopefully make a change in my world. Louise Hay Exercise on Forgiveness: Do this exercise with a partner if you can, or do it out loud if you are alone. Again, sit quietly with your eyes closed and say, “The person I need to forgive is _________ and I forgive you for _________. Do this over and over. You will have many things to forgive some for and only one or two to forgive others for. If you have a partner, let him say to you, “Thankyou, I set you free now.” If you do not, then imagine the person you are forgiving saying it to you. Do this for at least five or ten minutes. Search your heart for the injustices you still carry. Then let them go. When you have cleared as much as you can for now, turn your attention to yourself. Say out loud to yourself, “I forgive myself for _____.” Do this for another five minutes or so. These are powerful exercises and good to do at least once a week to clear out any remaining rubbish. Some experiences are easy to let go and some wee have to chip away at, until suddenly one day they let go and dissolve. to edit. If you run, then you are a runner. No truer words were spoken, but more importantly, they are continually felt among the community of runners. Each time I participate in a running event, I am reminded of this shared feeling of camaraderie and overall sense of togetherness.
Wikipedia defines community as “a small or large social unit (a group of living things) that has something in common, such as norms, religion, values, or identity”. This definition doesn’t even begin to encompass the wholeheartedness of the running community. Although runners are competitive by nature, the cohesiveness and supportive behaviors of its members is ingrained in their actions. They genuinely want to see everyone obtain their goal and even guide them along the way. They provide an atmosphere in which you aspire to do your best. My first half marathon in 2012 gave me my first real peek into this world. After training on my own for over six months I was prepared to go it alone and see myself to the finish line. Little did I know that these participants would be my guiding force that assisted me in the journey towards that shiny finishers medal. If they weren’t high-fiving me, they were shouting out words of encouragement, like “you’ve got this” and “you can do it”, even “you’re awesome”. How could you give up with support like this? Now, six years later, I still feel this connection but even more so, I consider the running community as my running family. Over the years I have discovered my strengths and weaknesses, been blessed with some cherished friendships and been supported and inspired by many with this kinship. A few weekends ago I participated in two races (Run 4 Rusty & a 16 k leg of the Iron Horse Ultra), in two different locations on the same day and as I was standing there at the cold, blistering snowy start I was struck by this overpowering sensation of belonging. I came to the realization that this is why I keep coming back and enduring these brutal temperatures and conditions. This is my (other) family and I am honored to be a part of it. I am privileged to have had my life touched with these sisters and brothers. Together you have inspired me to not only continue to pursue my running goals but to give back and share that inspiration to others. 2017 was a year of many ups and downs! I experienced so many things, felt so many emotions. I want to start off 2018 expressing my gratitude for the great events and people that have blessed my life. They have made it a year that I will not soon forget!
Being a part of 261 Fearless and carrying Kathrine Switzer's torch to other women around the world is an amazing fire that I intend to continue to spread. 2017 saw the beginning of the FIRST Canadian 261 Fearless club and I am proud to coach the women around Lloydminster and Vermilion. Our little group now runs alternate locations at Bud Miller Park in Lloydminster and Vermilion Provincial Park. Setting up a second location allowed other women to join AND their membership is good at both locations. I am hoping that with the Canadian 261 Run campaign we held in the fall of 2017, that many more women across Canada caught the fever and will start up their own 261 Fearless club in their city. Because of that great campaign, there is a coach training session taking form some time this year. If you're interested in becoming a coach or would like to set up a club please don't hesitate to contact me or fill out the request on the website: www.261fearless.org Last year I finally found out that I have some major food intolerances that have been the reason for my stomach distresses during running. This new found information has affected my training efforts and as a result I have had to reduce them. I am now in a whole new territory....I have to redesign my fueling for long runs now, just when I had it all working so well. My goal for this year is to begin to discover what I can eat and what I will be able to use to fuel for my marathon training. I do plan to run a few races this year, even hope to get in a half marathon or two as well as a marathon in before the winter snows fly again at the end of the year. This is not an easy task and I anticipate it will take some time. Another goal of mine will be to find ways to bring more women into the 261 Fearless world at our local Lloydminster and Vermilion locations. There are so many benefits for women. Not only is it a one hour a week holiday from their troubles but it also gives them a chance to get out and get active. We have fun getting active by playing games....like we used to when we were children. We laugh, socialize and we bond. Friendships are created while we experience the joy of running/walking. Do you have to be a runner? No! Our activities are for women of all paces and abilities. The only prerequisite is to bring a smile!! It's a safe environment for women to feel empowered to face the challenges in their life and gain strength from it! Come check out our unique and healthy sisterhood. The new year is a great time to try to make some small steps towards a better self. I don't make New Year's resolutions but I do feel there is a shift about to happen. With the passing of each full moon, I will draw the energy from it that I need to move onward. I feel truly blessed and can't wait to make 2018 the best year ever!! In June of 2017, I launched Canada's first 261 Fearless Club! 261 Fearless Club Lloydminster meets every Satruday morning at 9:00 a.m. It is a club for ladies!!! They join us for weekly meet runs and fun-filled activities! Women of any running ability can join, no running experience is necessary! We have a fun filled hour where there is no pressure, no timing devices, it's a non-judgemental, non-competitive atmosphere!! It's your one hour a week holiday! Ladies from surrounding towns & villages are welcome! Bring a friend! Your first session is free!! Please come a few minutes early if it is your first time joining us!! It would be awesome if you could also send a message to let me know to expect you!! Below is an article that tells about the club and the audience that it serves. More recently, Oct. 21, 2017, 261 Fearless Club Lloydminster has taken to the road. Because of the high interest of ladies in the Vermilion area, the meet runs are now going to be offered on an alternating basis between Bud Miller Park in Lloydminster and Vermilion Provincial Park. Both locations will operate from the soccer fields.
“I am going to finish this race on my hands and knees if I have too!” - Kathrine Switzer
How was I to know how very powerful, motivated and meaningful these words would be to me? As I sit and ponder about my journey to the Boston Marathon 2017 and the most important finish of my life they are words that are no longer larger than life but are now a mantra that follows me whenever I find myself in the middle of overwhelming obstacles. Even two months after THE most important marathon of my life was completed, I still have to pinch myself! I wonder, did it really happen? Then all the months of training and the huge undertaking of fundraising over $10,000 Canadian during the worst recession in Alberta in a long time, successfully squeeze that thought aside. Oh, yeah, Baby, I was there, turning left on Boylston Street!! This was a journey, not just of physical endurance but also of character, confidence building, empowerment, emotional courage and personal growth. I also consider it a blessing, as I obtained new friends and became a part of a wonderful group of women (both 261 & locally) that I feel are like family and gained strength to pass that sense of empowerment onto other women. Boston would have remained a dream, if not for the 261 Fearless movement. These numbers and Kathrine’s story are what originally hooked me but the passion and the message behind the movement is what reeled me in. I first became a 261 ambassador, now almost two years ago. This eventually led to me obtaining coach status and then embarking on an incredible marathon, of sorts, to establishing the first 261 Fearless Club in Canada!!! Last summer, I had an inkling that Kathrine would be attending Boston, as it was the magical 50 years since her ground breaking Boston run. At the time, I did not know that she was going to be running; I was just hoping to get the chance to see her in Boston, IF I qualified! So, I trained all summer and entered the Edmonton Marathon, aiming at a qualification entry. Unfortunately, I was 30 minutes short of a qualifying time. Now, 30 minutes is a lot, for a runner, so my hopes were dashed! This only lasted for a few weeks, until 261 Fearless Inc. made their announcement that they had obtained charity bibs and that I could throw my name in the hat! I initially had thoughts to decline but, as I was continually reminded, throughout the next six months I had the support of my family, a wonderful community and awesome women in my life! This became my source of encouragement and lifeline! Without them I would not have pushed through the many uncomfortable fundraising efforts, nor survived the countless times I was pushed beyond my comfort zones!! For these people; I am humbly grateful! Training for Boston was a solitary and, at times, lonely experience. I trained in all kinds of weather, from beautiful, warm sunny afternoons, to grueling & bitterly cold long runs. I went from short sleeves to toques and a frost bitten nose, all within the course of one month of training. I mean, I live in Alberta where the weather can change in 20 minutes!! The cold weather training later became a deciding factor on my finishing time in Boston. Training in these harsh and ever changing conditions was a true test to my crazy Canuck determination, my love for running and the desire to spread the 261 message. Landing on Boston soil and entering the John B. Hynes Center was a surreal experience. Feeling the buzz and excitement in the air, indescribable! The city of Boston puts on a marathon like no other race I’ve ever attended. Boston fever could be felt everywhere and in everyone!! It made me feel like I was a part of one big huge running family!! This fever spilled over for three fabulous days but was felt in much magnanimous proportions on marathon day. 2:00 a.m. Monday, April 17, 2017, my day began! Up bright and early, partly because I couldn’t sleep and partly because the possibility of missing that 4:30 a.m. cab to Back Bay Station was so incredibly nerve wracking! So, as my snoring husband slept, I tiptoed around the hotel room eating a light breakfast and getting prepared for my day. I had laid out all my gear the night before but I still wondered, once I had it all on, if I had forgotten anything. Did I have enough gels? Would my sports drink crystals be okay? Will my phone charger have enough to keep me running through the race? Is my phone charged up enough? Will it last? How hot will it be? Is it 4:30 yet? All the endless questions and concerns that go through a runner’s mind do not get laid to rest until the start gun goes off!! Finally, my anticipation got the better of me and I headed down to the hotel lobby to meet my 261 Fearless partners in crime! It was only 4:00 a.m.!! Enveloped in anticipation, standing underneath the street lamps on Charles Street at 5:00 a.m., I couldn’t have asked to be surrounded by a better group of people. The 261 Fearless Boston team felt more like family than new found friends! This is made my first Boston Marathon even more memorable and I hadn’t even run one step yet! The hour long bus ride to Hopkinton was the beginning of a long wait time. Fortunately, we had the luxury of using a historic house on 25 Main Street to rest, relax and socialize instead of a tent at Athlete’s Village until our wave start time of 11:00 a.m. These 5 hours were truly magical, I mean, even the porta potties were decked out in unique fearless style. We spent the hours socializing, eating our pre-run meal, and stretching, but most importantly strengthening the bonds that would later help us spread the 261 message throughout 26.2 mile course and eventually worldwide. Finally, after numerous photos, moments of laughter and team pictures, our fearless leader, Kathrine Switzer gave us our last words of encouragement and led us through security to the corral to the start line. From the sidelines Chris Grack sent us off with a, “261” shout and we raced away in a, “FEARLESS” wave! Who was to know that this “261 Fearless” chant would be my saving grace? Many times it became my source of inspiration and another opportunity for me to dig deep and find the strength to continue. So many runners! I was just a small maroon speck in a sea of marathoners that spread out endlessly in front of me and, I assume behind me as well!! The first few miles were very emotional. I felt the tears of joy and disbelief pooling in my eyes and had to hold them back for fear that they would impair my vision and I would soon succumb to the ocean of runners. Eventually, reality struck me and I soon wished that I had forced myself to take that one last stop at the porta potty before leaving. So the third mile found me searching for the nearest pit stop, a foreshadowing of what found me later on down the road! Thankfully, Boston is so organized that starting at kilometre 5 there are porta potties, water stations and first aid every 1.6 kilometres until the finish line!! Once that crisis was averted I set myself into a rhythm. Experiencing the wonderous, supportive crowds (over 1 million spectators) and enjoying each step of the first 25 kilometres! My many months of winter and -30 degrees Celcius training did not prepare me for the +25 degrees Celcius temperatures! Soon my body began to feel the effects and my stomach decided to protest! Thinking I could just push through the pain I continued on. Thankful for the cups of ice chips and the blessed water spraying from some of the fire hydrants, I labored through the streets and to the top of Heartbreak Hill. Eventually, my stomach reigned and I was forced to walk 3 to 4 km! When frustration and defeat seemed to be the only end to this hilly and challenging race, I discovered new strength from the 261 supporters along the route. Their shouts of encouragement were the fuel that drove me over the last hills, while those infamous words, “I will finish this race on my hands and knees if I have to!” filled my every thought. On the wings of the 261 Fearless movement I found the courage to run the last 3 kilometres. Turning right on Hereford and then left on Boylston Street the finish line, like a mirage, wavered in the distance. As I approached the finish line I spotted a 261 Fearless sister beside me. We crossed, within seconds of each other! I couldn’t have asked for a better way to finish this historic race. Sweaty, hungry, exhausted and elated I accepted and proudly wore my finishing medal. My Boston Marathon medal now hangs in the middle of all my running medals. It is a constant reminder of the life changing journey I encountered but is my most treasured medal because it represents the power and importance of 261. I am eternally grateful to be a part of this community and am honored to carry on the mission of empowering women. In the month of December, there were a few articles printed in the local papers about my journey to Boston. Spreading the word about 261 Fearless!!! Maybe there will be purple fever soon!! Just click on the links below to access these documents!!
Merriian Booster - Empowering Women One Stride at a Time The Vermilion Voice - Fearless in Boston |
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